Are you familiar with that deep in the night hour when your body decides sleep is optional? For me, it's 3:30 AM. I used to fight it – after all, what kind of efficient, operating system would schedule a random wake-up call in the middle of the night?
But here's what I also know is true in my life: It’s usually the "inconvenient" patterns - when things are not as they “should” be - that hold the promise of a little magic.
In my house at this hour, sleep casts a spell so deep on everyone else it feels ancient. The usual city soundtrack – that ever-present grumble of machines and distant cars – fades to whispers. Even the busy world outside rests, and only nature’s noises remain: wind through branches, occasional owl calls. There is extra permission at this rare time to let go of needing to get anything purposeful done when nothing human around me is trying to be productive.

A Different Kind of Magic
The only thing that feels right to spend time on at this hour is reading – not the rational, purposeful kind, but what I think of as "hunting and pecking." I pick up whatever book catches my eye, often one I've read before, and let it fall open wherever it wants. I skim until something interesting catches my attention. I’ve been told that I have shiny object syndrome, but at this hour, it’s a superpower. I intend to find wonder, delight, or meaning, and I always find it.
While sleep brings the enchantment of dreams, playing around with being at rest while awake brings its own kind of magic – the enchantment of our minds open and spacious while being aware of it at the same time.
The Science Behind the Magic
Our brains have a fascinating feature called the default mode network (DMN). We might plant seeds there as questions, but they will only grow if we walk away and forget what we planted. Stephen King describes it as the “folks in the basement” who he trusts will point out flaws and fixes in his writing and send ideas up to his awareness when he has come to the end of what his mind can do.
When we engage in passive rest, we release our grip on figuring everything out. That's when the magic happens – intuitive ideas appear like unexpected gifts, and peace settles over us for no other reason than that it was always there, hidden under the churning of our noisy external lives. Like enchanted gardens in fairy tales, the DMN also has a dark side, where we are more open to rumination if we’re not careful about it. In the DMN, worries and self-doubt can grow like thick, threatening vines.
Recreational reading, in particular, can be a safe way to play with the magic of the DMN. It builds invisible brackets around the ordinary world, keeping your worries and deadlines at bay while offering you a playground where time and space bend to your imagination. Scientists who look into the neuroscience of reading call this "temporal and perceptual simulation," but I'm fine just calling it magic. But, it’s not the only way to get yourself into a state of what psychologists call passive rest where the default mode network is most likely to switch on.
Invitations to Passive Rest
1. Nature Watching: Whether it's the night sky or birds outside your window, let your eyes wander and your mind follow.
2. Water Delight: Swim, shower, bathe or simply watch water move. There's a reason we find it mesmerizing.
3. Museum Meandering: Let yourself be drawn to whatever catches your eye – colors, shapes, patterns. No art history degree required.
4. Mindfulness Meditation: Breathe and watch your thoughts float by like clouds without feeling them attach to you. The sticky ones will try and you can notice that with curiosity and marvel at how it feels to let it go. (I love Tara Brach's "Letting Go and Letting Be" guided meditation for this.)
5. Gentle Journaling: Some prompts that will always get me going:
- Write a letter coming to you from a future self who is fulfilled and content. What is she thanking you for? What wisdom or comforting words does she want to share with you?
-What’s on your mind as you think about your day or week ahead? Once you have written that out, take a few nourishing breaths. What does your most wise, compassionate part of yourself have to say about your next best steps? If it helps you can imagine a wise, loving godmother or grandparent is talking back to you with compassion and love.
6. Walking Outside: Well, this one is exactly what it sounds like. Walk to music or just your own breath. Taking a dog with you is optional, but research shows they also experience the default mode network:)
A Gentle Warning about the Digital Default Mode Network
While scrolling can give us a needed break from the day-to-day, it often depletes us more than when we started. Digital distraction causes us to lose our grip on cognitive control in a deeper way than other forms of passive rest. While also often being a vehicle for negative comparison and worry, it tempts us into the darker side of the default mode network’s magic. Unlike the natural magic of passive rest, digital distraction can trap us in worry and overwhelm, rather than release us from it.
This Week’s Invitation
This week, I invite you to experiment with passive rest – not as another item on your to-do list, but as a doorway to magic that's always been there, a feature of your design you can explore.
Let’s share in the comments: Are you a solid sleeper or do you deal with interrupted sleep? What’s been helpful to you during those unproductive wake-up calls?
Wishing you sweet sleep and only the most enchanted of interruptions,
Tricia
P.S. For those fellow 3:30 AM club members – welcome to the secret society of women whose hormones have other plans. We're in good company. 😉
P.P.S. I’ll be back Friday for a quick share of book inspiration for deeper dives and permissions for rest.